If I were a character in a book, this is just some of what you'd read on the first page.
My name may be girly, but the contents of my refrigerator will make you scream like one.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you!
Her boobs were faker than sugar-free Twinkies deep fried in fat-free margarine.
I've already killed you three times in my head. I want you to know that. Now shut up.
Why have a dick when you can be one?